TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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