I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize