We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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