At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
