I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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