Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
