It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
