Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
