remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
