I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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