is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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