Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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