wat bout pragnant strippers??
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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