Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
