I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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