I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
