I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
