I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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