No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize