She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize