When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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