the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
