I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize