Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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