i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
