I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
