Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
