I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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