good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
