Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
