You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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