In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
