You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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