i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
