ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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