I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
