Whatcha textin bout Willis?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
