i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
