Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
