i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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