It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
NoShamevember. You game?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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