my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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