Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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