That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
