so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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