what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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