I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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