I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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