Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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