"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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