Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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