Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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