So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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