i think my mom watched the whole time
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize