You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize