nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
