I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
