6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
