Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
