Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
