so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
