you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize