i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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