i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
