I accidentally had phone sex last night
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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