I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
no you cant smoke seaweed
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
