girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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