id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
