In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
