You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
