That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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