I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I love having hate sex.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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