My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
