I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
