My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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