This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize