I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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