sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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