Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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