The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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